playfulkitten - Funny Forwards

Instruction Labels

In the case you need further proof that some members of the human race are "common sense-challenged," here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer:

"Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos:

"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap:

"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how...?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:

Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But it's just a suggestion)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):

"Do not turn upside dowwn."
(Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

"Product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows day...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:

"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just keep those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:

"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(One could only hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights:

"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor:

"Not to be used for any other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:

"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Delta.)

One a child's Superman costume:

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:

"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? My God!)