playfulkitten - Funny Forwards

Understanding

This one's rather angsty in its setup, but the punchline is amusing.

Let's see if I understand America, from the last 20 years...

• If a woman burns her thighs on the hot coffee she was holding in her lap while driving, she blames the restaurant. [Editor's note: she was actually a passenger, and the coffee was hotter than recommended for coffee anywhere.]
• If your teenage son kills himself, you blame the rock 'n' roll musician he liked.
• If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company.
• If your daughter gets pregnant by the football captain, you blame the school for poor sex education.
• If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, you blame the bartender.
• If your cousin gets AIDS because the needle he used to shoot heroin was dirty, you blame the government for not providing clean ones.
• If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.
• If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.
• If a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilots at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the deceased blames the airline.

Weird... I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is.

If I die in front of my computer, can I blame Bill Gates?